Monday, January 2, 2012

My Year in Tweets (Part II July - December)

Here is the second half of my year in tweets. Possibly better than the first half? If not, just imagine Josh Groban or some other adorable Jew singing them. Enjoy.

July

Just chillin in Cali. I'm pretty much a baller.
Jul 1

I'm too excited to sleep! Disneyland in the morning!
Jul 11

Tiger print pedicure. Yep, i'm wild like that.
Jul 14

Just emptied sand out of my suitcase. I miss you, beach.
Jul 18

A message from my recently married friend: "Guess who ain't a virgin no more!
Jul 19

I am trying to resist tweeting vague words towards unnamed people.
Jul 23
"Why is the sky gray? Why is the grass gray? Why is a rainbow gray, gray, gray, and infragray?" - Wilfred
Jul 23

"Why do I always want to sock it to you hard?" She & Him
Jul 27

Hey, guy at the shoe store, you're going to remember my name and add me on Facebook, aren't you?
Jul 27


August

After everything I do or say that's embarrassing, I have to quickly tell my sister () "Please don't tweet that."
Aug 1

So I'm pretty sure I'm going to Baltimore tomorrow. Just decided that like an hour ago. Yep.
Aug 3


Preparing my classroom. I know I left some motivation in here somewhere.....I just can't seem to find it though.
Aug 9

And the dating site advertisements are back up on my Facebook sidebar already. Awesome.
Aug 9

An old man at HyVee told my friend & me that if he was 45 years younger he'd wine and dine us until we'd say yes to anything he suggested.
Aug 10

In Chicago! Ah, the life of a teacher!
Aug 12

Has everyone hear about my recent heartbreak? It happened. Marcus Mumford is engaged. *sobs*
Aug 17

Oh, life. I think that's the phrase that sums up 2011 thus far.
Aug 18

So you're going to be immature and not respond to my text? Well, I'm going to be immature and tweet about you not responding to my text.
Aug 19

Spent my last few hours of summer catching up on Jersey Shore. That's right, America, I am educating our youth.
Aug 22

Summer made me forget how awesome Fridays are. Good thing I'm back at work so I can fully appreciate them.
Aug 26

My high school best friend told me that she has "baby fever." Please, no! Just, no! Please no!
Aug 29


September

I feel like all the guys I never wanted to date are coming back to haunt me all at once! .....awesome......
Sep 6

"If you put an A in 'definitely,' then you're definitely an A-hole." -
Sep 8

I totally conquered the wilderness today - canoeing, kayaking, geocaching, dutch oven cooking, shooting, and I even made nature jewelry!
Sep 10

I am now a proud member of the National Wild Turkey Federation. Yeah, I didn't see that one coming either.
Sep 12

New favorite game in my classroom: "The floor is lava!"
Sep 15

I spit off the top of a lookout tower and almost hit some people at the bottom. I am a 12-year-old boy in the body of a 24-year-old woman.
Sep 17

Told my students we're going on a field trip next month. Student: "Are we going to OCTOBERFEST!?! Wait....what's Octoberfest again?"
Sep 19

I have added so many books to my classroom library that I've run out of shelf space.
Sep 20

Students: You have Twitter?!?! Me: Uh.....no.
Sep 26

Sooooo, I ran through a corn field last night.
Sep 30


October
Heartland conference presentation done! Add that one to the resume! *brushes off shoulder*
Oct 6
Just found out that I've been pronouncing "sepia" incorrectly my whole life.
Oct 11

Gonna blow some stuff up today!
Oct 13

Who needs a boyfriend when you have peanut butter M&Ms?
Oct 17

Things are weird.
Oct 26
A moment I'd like to remember: My dad walks into the room with food coloring and eye shadow on his face and acting like a zombie.
Oct 29

Yes, I just live tweeted a zombie apocalypse movie. I apologize to each and every one of you.
Oct 29

November

It's No-shave November! Hey bearded men - I like you.
Nov 1

"I'm old enough to know better by now but too young to change it." -
Nov 3

It's creepy how many guys I've dated with the same last names as my co-workers.
Nov 7

Want an ego boost? Tell 13-year-olds that you'll give them candy if they start sucking up.
Nov 7

Just watched the trailer again. Chills! Chills! Chills!
Nov 14

So I maybe, possibly went and saw the new Twilight movie tonight. Dang it! I'm never going to get a boyfriend!
Nov 19

I will not join Pinterest. I will not join Pinterest. I will not join Pinterest.
Nov 21

There are very few things i hate more than setting up the Christmas tree.
Nov 24

My phone has been changing "eating" to "dating." Even my phone has unrealistic expectations for me.
Nov 29

According to Word Dynamo on I know 45,535 words.
Nov 30

December
I won the limo ride from Steals! WOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Dec 1

While working out, I like to wear a bow in my hair to add a dash of femininity while I'm grunting and sweating like a man.
Dec1

I don't want to have kids because then I'd have to love someone more than myself, and that just doesn't sound like any fun at all.
Dec 4

I was the one person to mess up the even teams at the staff supper tonight because I didn't have a date.
Dec 8

Thank goodness I don't have a boyfriend. My dog is needy enough.
Dec 12

Me to my class: Oh, I like school; it's the students I can't stand!
Dec 13

I'm on Pinterest now. Shame, loads of shame.
Dec 14
I've been drinking out of a swirly straw all day. I am such an adult.
Dec 23

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Sunday, January 1, 2012

My Year in Tweets (Part I January - June)

Instead of writing a whole bunch of stuff to recap 2011, I decided to look back on my tweets throughout the past twelve months and compile them into one big overview of my year. Some are specific, some are vague. Some are insightful, some are stupid. Some are happy-go-lucky, some are passive aggressive. There were ups and downs throughout the year, just like any other year.

This blog in two parts because it would be super lengthy otherwise. I came to the conclusion that I've gotten funnier throughout the year, so Part II should be better than Part I. Enjoy!


January

Out with the old; in with the new.
Jan 1
I bought a car. Guess who feels like a grown-up!
Jan 4

So......I'm a little giggly today.
Jan 6

Two snow days in a row? Is it too much to hope for?
Jan 10
Goodnight calls are nice. :)
Jan 10

Watching "Going the Distance." It's like applicable or something.
Jan 20

I get to see Holly Hoffman tonight!
Jan 22


February

I took my dog for a walk today, but ended up carrying her most of the way because her feet froze.
Feb 1

Just wiped out on the ice.
Feb 5

Remember that one time when I actually understood what was going on during a football game? Nope, me neither.
Feb 6

I think I'm in a sugar-induced coma right now.
Feb 9

Missing my Valentine.
Feb 14

I need to get hurry up and finish the book I'm reading so I can use my new.......wait for it...........wait for it.............Nook Color!!!
Feb 14

I just Googled "Justin Bieber haircut." I think I've reached a new low.
Feb 21


March
All I want in life is someone's back pocket for me to slide my hand in as we walk through the mall together. Is that too much to ask for?
Mar 1
"Hey, teach - my friend is coming to school with me on Friday. Can you try to act cool? Cuz I told her you are."
Mar 7
I'm going to this. You can all be extremely jealous.
Mar 14

My mom is on Twitter.........
Mar 21

A little girl I know named her Barbie after me. This is definitely a high point in my life.
Mar 27

A phrase I've had to use in my classroom: "Umm, no. I am NOT your homeboy."
Mar 31



April

"Who are you going to couple skate with tonight, Teach?" Yep, school skating party tonight.
Apr 5

"That outfit makes you look like a teacher. A HIP teacher though."
Apr 6

Two weeks from today: Mumford and Sons concert! Excited beyond words!
Apr 8

Blankly staring at the Twitter box, trying to think of something witty.
Apr 9

I'm pretty sure my job description should be at least 10 pages long.
Apr 13

Bachelorette party last night. Our mode of transportation: a motor-home. We rocked it white trash style!
Apr 16

Good thing I found that steak knife in my purse today instead of having a security guy at the airport find it on Thursday!
Apr 16

I put the "her" in teacher.
Apr 19

The Rockslinger and His Greatest Hit! Excited and nervous!
Apr 19

"Home is wherever I'm with you." - Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros
Apr 20
My boyfriend is cooking right now and I'm messing around on Facebook and Twitter. This is definitely how life should always be.
Apr 23

11 hours in the airport, 2 hours of half-sleep, one piece of luggage missing. Wow, traveling is fun.
Apr 26

One of my students is reading . I think she's getting annoyed of me asking what part she's at.
Apr 28


May

"Illusion" was a spelling word this week. During the test, I really wanted to say, "Illusions, Michael!"
May 6

Grading papers on a Friday afternoon. Blegh. *Three more weeks, three more weeks, three more weeks.*
May 6

I bought hipster glasses. Because I'm a hipster like that?
May 15

Heading to Omaha with my students tomorrow. Should be an interesting trip. I'm just hoping they act civilized.
May 22

Hello, summer. I've missed you.
May 25

Finally living the life of my sister -- sleeping in, sitting on Facebook, watching tv. It's a rough life.
May 27


June

What did one snowman say to the other? ......"Do you smell carrots?"
Jun 3

First fire of the summer! It's about time, son!

Jun 3

I'm totally becoming an artist (that uses step-by-step instructions for drawing....)
Jun 7
The time I've spent online tonight > the time you've spent online tonight
Jun 9

"But I know now that we were not the people that we turned out to be."
Jun 11

I think I need my inhaler because Marcus Mumford took my breath away!
Jun 15

Second row at Mumford and Sons, first row a Yellowcard and Good Charlotte.......this has pretty much been an awesome week.
Jun 17
Note to self (and others): canoeing on flooded rivers is dangerous. Don't be dumb......like.......my friend.....yeah
Jun 18

When I grow up, I want to have a dishwasher.
Jun 22

I am the queen of getting my hopes up for no good reason.
Jun 23
It's just like........I don't know. Ya know?
Jun 23

I was singing Mumford and Sons songs in the shower, and my dog was sitting outside of the shower barking along.
Jun 25


Phew! You made it to the bottom. I am thoroughly impressed. Check back for Part II of my year in tweets!
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