Monday, January 2, 2012

My Year in Tweets (Part II July - December)

Here is the second half of my year in tweets. Possibly better than the first half? If not, just imagine Josh Groban or some other adorable Jew singing them. Enjoy.

July

Just chillin in Cali. I'm pretty much a baller.
Jul 1

I'm too excited to sleep! Disneyland in the morning!
Jul 11

Tiger print pedicure. Yep, i'm wild like that.
Jul 14

Just emptied sand out of my suitcase. I miss you, beach.
Jul 18

A message from my recently married friend: "Guess who ain't a virgin no more!
Jul 19

I am trying to resist tweeting vague words towards unnamed people.
Jul 23
"Why is the sky gray? Why is the grass gray? Why is a rainbow gray, gray, gray, and infragray?" - Wilfred
Jul 23

"Why do I always want to sock it to you hard?" She & Him
Jul 27

Hey, guy at the shoe store, you're going to remember my name and add me on Facebook, aren't you?
Jul 27


August

After everything I do or say that's embarrassing, I have to quickly tell my sister () "Please don't tweet that."
Aug 1

So I'm pretty sure I'm going to Baltimore tomorrow. Just decided that like an hour ago. Yep.
Aug 3


Preparing my classroom. I know I left some motivation in here somewhere.....I just can't seem to find it though.
Aug 9

And the dating site advertisements are back up on my Facebook sidebar already. Awesome.
Aug 9

An old man at HyVee told my friend & me that if he was 45 years younger he'd wine and dine us until we'd say yes to anything he suggested.
Aug 10

In Chicago! Ah, the life of a teacher!
Aug 12

Has everyone hear about my recent heartbreak? It happened. Marcus Mumford is engaged. *sobs*
Aug 17

Oh, life. I think that's the phrase that sums up 2011 thus far.
Aug 18

So you're going to be immature and not respond to my text? Well, I'm going to be immature and tweet about you not responding to my text.
Aug 19

Spent my last few hours of summer catching up on Jersey Shore. That's right, America, I am educating our youth.
Aug 22

Summer made me forget how awesome Fridays are. Good thing I'm back at work so I can fully appreciate them.
Aug 26

My high school best friend told me that she has "baby fever." Please, no! Just, no! Please no!
Aug 29


September

I feel like all the guys I never wanted to date are coming back to haunt me all at once! .....awesome......
Sep 6

"If you put an A in 'definitely,' then you're definitely an A-hole." -
Sep 8

I totally conquered the wilderness today - canoeing, kayaking, geocaching, dutch oven cooking, shooting, and I even made nature jewelry!
Sep 10

I am now a proud member of the National Wild Turkey Federation. Yeah, I didn't see that one coming either.
Sep 12

New favorite game in my classroom: "The floor is lava!"
Sep 15

I spit off the top of a lookout tower and almost hit some people at the bottom. I am a 12-year-old boy in the body of a 24-year-old woman.
Sep 17

Told my students we're going on a field trip next month. Student: "Are we going to OCTOBERFEST!?! Wait....what's Octoberfest again?"
Sep 19

I have added so many books to my classroom library that I've run out of shelf space.
Sep 20

Students: You have Twitter?!?! Me: Uh.....no.
Sep 26

Sooooo, I ran through a corn field last night.
Sep 30


October
Heartland conference presentation done! Add that one to the resume! *brushes off shoulder*
Oct 6
Just found out that I've been pronouncing "sepia" incorrectly my whole life.
Oct 11

Gonna blow some stuff up today!
Oct 13

Who needs a boyfriend when you have peanut butter M&Ms?
Oct 17

Things are weird.
Oct 26
A moment I'd like to remember: My dad walks into the room with food coloring and eye shadow on his face and acting like a zombie.
Oct 29

Yes, I just live tweeted a zombie apocalypse movie. I apologize to each and every one of you.
Oct 29

November

It's No-shave November! Hey bearded men - I like you.
Nov 1

"I'm old enough to know better by now but too young to change it." -
Nov 3

It's creepy how many guys I've dated with the same last names as my co-workers.
Nov 7

Want an ego boost? Tell 13-year-olds that you'll give them candy if they start sucking up.
Nov 7

Just watched the trailer again. Chills! Chills! Chills!
Nov 14

So I maybe, possibly went and saw the new Twilight movie tonight. Dang it! I'm never going to get a boyfriend!
Nov 19

I will not join Pinterest. I will not join Pinterest. I will not join Pinterest.
Nov 21

There are very few things i hate more than setting up the Christmas tree.
Nov 24

My phone has been changing "eating" to "dating." Even my phone has unrealistic expectations for me.
Nov 29

According to Word Dynamo on I know 45,535 words.
Nov 30

December
I won the limo ride from Steals! WOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Dec 1

While working out, I like to wear a bow in my hair to add a dash of femininity while I'm grunting and sweating like a man.
Dec1

I don't want to have kids because then I'd have to love someone more than myself, and that just doesn't sound like any fun at all.
Dec 4

I was the one person to mess up the even teams at the staff supper tonight because I didn't have a date.
Dec 8

Thank goodness I don't have a boyfriend. My dog is needy enough.
Dec 12

Me to my class: Oh, I like school; it's the students I can't stand!
Dec 13

I'm on Pinterest now. Shame, loads of shame.
Dec 14
I've been drinking out of a swirly straw all day. I am such an adult.
Dec 23

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