Now Accepting Donations for the "Elizabeth Needs A New Car" Fund

So, my sister is typing this blog post for me, because my arm is currently in a splint. I could type it if I wanted to, but it would take forever and hurt and frustrate me to no end. What a wonderful sister I have.

Here's the story of my accident on December 16, 2010:

It was a dark and stormy morning...Okay, so not really. But it was kind of slippery out. I was on my way to work going a little slower than the speed limit and I came around the curve before the bridge by Brandon. As I approached the bridge, I became confused because there were a pair of headlights facing me and they appeared to be in my lane. I cautiously slowed down and as I got to the bridge, I hit pure ice and started sliding. Trying to slow down and control my car on the ice proved to be a big problem. I spun around almost hitting the side of the bridge and almost hitting the van in front of me that had already spun out. After doing almost a 180, I stopped just inches short of both the bridge and the van. It was a miracle that I had managed to stop in time and not hit a thing. That miraculous feeling lasted only a second and then I saw headlights heading straight for me. "Please don't hit me! Please don't hit me!" I thought in my head. Then CRUNCH! CRASH! SHATTER!

When I opened my eyes I saw that my airbags had deployed and I was covered with glass. Two guys appeared at my window asking if I was all right. "I don't know!!" I yelled as I couldn't stop shaking.

Again, "Are you all right?"

I did a mental body check, felt a couple sore spots, but for the most part I was okay. The next five minutes I spent searching for my phone, which had flown somewhere on the floor amongst the glass and books I was bringing to school that day. As I got out of my car, I realized that the ice had been a problem for several people, and it looked like at least ten cars had been involved in the crash. No one was severely injured. After I found my phone, the first thing I did was call my mom because someone else had already called 911.

Me: "Mom, I was in a pretty bad accident, but I'm okay. My car looks pretty bad though."

Mom: "I'm on my way! I'll be right there!"

Me: "Mom, no."

Mom: "I'm coming. I'm getting my things. I'll be right there."

Me: "Mom, calm down. You shouldn't come out right now. There were like ten cars that crashed. You probably couldn't even get here. It looks like I'll be out here a while before the cops come."

Mom: "Okay, are you sure? Keep me updated."

As I waited outside with some of the other drivers, I quickly realized that today was not a good day to wear my flats without socks. Within minutes, my feet were numb. It was also during this time that I felt a large bump forming on my forehead. My wrist also seemed to be a little sore, but with the way my car looked, it was a blessing to only have these minor injuries.

The cops finally arrived, but they had to process all the other cars before they got to the ones involved in my part of the accident. I waited in my car for a while with a blanket over me since my driver's side window was shattered and my passenger door wouldn't shut. Eventually, the driver of the van said I could wait in his car and hopefully warm up a bit. Then came the Keloland lady wanting an interview with someone. I agreed to do it and even threw in a "Looks like I need a new car for Christmas" line, hoping someone would pity me and help me out. No such luck.

Finally it was my turn to talk to the police officer. I watched my poor little orange car get towed away as I sat in the officer's vehicle. It looked like half of my car was still lying on the road because there were so many little scraps everywhere. My dad came and picked me up and brought me home. My wonderful boss, Sheri, had said that I could take the day off.

I spent the day relaxing, but kept noticing my wrist was starting to hurt more and more. I went to urgent care where they took x-rays, but did not see a break. They sent me home in a splint and told me to come back in a week if it still hurt.

I returned to school the next day and found out just how difficult it was to have to work with only one hand -- my left hand. I received much love from my students and coworkers, so that helped, but I left school that day feeling very tired and very sore.

A week later, I set up an appointment with an orthopedic doctor. He looked at my wrist and the x-rays and concluded that the impact of the airbag must have bruised my bone. Thankfully, it's not broken, but it will still take 4-6 weeks to heal, so that means that I will be going through a lot of Ibuprofen in the next few weeks. And asking for a lot of favors from my family. My dad asked if I was planning on joining the Dairy Association because of how much I was milking my injury. He's so funny...

Overall, I am so thankful that everything turned out okay, because it could have been a lot worse. God was truly protecting me and the other drivers. Although I'm a little bummmmmmed about my car, I'm planning on looking for a new one this week.

I'll leave you with a couple pictures.

My driver's side door was pretty smashed in. It left me with a couple bruises.

Right after the accident.

Poor car.

"Cuz We Make the Hipsters Fall In Love"

So, I'm a little bit addicted. I kind of love Ke$ha. For those of you who are not familiar with Ke$ha, she is a party girl rockstar. I don't really want to be her or anything (because she probably does drugs and all that stuff), but really, I secretly do want to be her. I get way too giddy when I hear a song of hers, and I take on the Ke$ha attitude and belt it out right along with her. (And, yes, her name is spelled with the dollar sign. I'm always a stickler for spelling.)

Anyways, my sister and I decided to have a photo shoot, inspired by Ke$ha, sort of, only a lot more toned down. I did my sister's hair and makeup. It looked pretty rad.

Yeah, that's my sister. She's fierce.

Ke$ha's new album comes out this week! Get rainbow excited! Maybe it will inspire us to have another photo shoot. Get double rainbow excited!

The "Look"

I'm pretty sure I've had a blog with this same title, just referring to a much different look. Hmmmm, read on.

We had Heartland Teacher convention today and yesterday. It's always kind of fun to have a few days off and sit through some interesting sectionals, and some not-so-interesting ones as well. You can definitely tell it's a convention of teachers. Teachers just have this "look," ya know? Even if it's not the denim jumper with the apple pin, there is definitely still a certain way that teachers look, dress, carry themselves, something. I just can't really pinpoint the one thing that it is.

Well, whatever it is, I'm trying to stay far away from it. I rock the skinny jeans, or pants, or whatever. Yes, I still buy my clothes from the juniors' section. Fine. Judge me. Yes, I sometimes get mistaken for an eighth grader when I'm around my students, but I'll take that as a compliment. I think. And, of course, I avoid the "teacher shoes." Those loafer looking things - sometimes worn with printed socks - ones with little pumpkins, or hearts, or snowmen. You know what I'm talking about. Oh, yuck. I'll take a pair of flats that give me horrible blisters way before I'd ever wear those things. I was even rocking the Snookie bump yesterday. Ok, so not really even close to the height that she gets, but someone did ask me if I had a Bump-It in. I think I know what I'm going to be for Halloween. Now if only I can find the right shade of orange to color my skin....

Duke Bobby

So, I don't know if you've heard, but there is a praying mantis in my classroom right now. Yes, a real live praying mantis. It is now our class pet. I even brought in a fish bowl for it to live in. (Bowser's old bowl. Tears.) My students ran outside to gather grass, leaves, and sticks to make a nice little home for it. One morning they even went outside with a cup to catch crickets for Mr. Mantis to eat. (They're carnivorous.)

They also decided its name would be Duke Bobby. It's kind of an inside joke that our class has, although, the joke isn't really that funny, but I suppose we'll go with it.

Anyways, Duke Bobby has been hanging out on his stick a lot. He doesn't move around that much, but the kids make sure to check on him every day.

This morning they got to school and ran to check it out. As soon as I got into the classroom, they quickly told me, "The praying mantis is dead or something! Or maybe dying! It's pooping out foam!" I took a look in its tank, and started getting a little worried. The mantis wasn't moving at all. Then, I noticed it's back end making little thrusting movements and pumping out more of this foamy stuff.

After some quick Googling, I read this: "A female praying mantis will produce a large foam mass, called an ootheca. This ootheca can contain up to 300 eggs, all protected in the foam sack."

My jaw dropped as I read it, and my kids starting shouting, "What!?! What is it!?! Is Duke Bobby going to die?!"

"Well, kids, it looks like Duke Bobby is a female. And that foam is a sack of eggs!"

"It's pregnant!?!?!" A cheer rose up from the class. Our precious Duke Bobby was not dying, rather, it was producing life!

So, we'll see what happens. It can take anywhere from 5 weeks to 5 months to hatch. Then we'll have quite a few little crawlers on our hands. I'll keep you all updated on our praying mantis situation.

****Update*****
Upon arriving at school today, I found little Duke Bobby face down in her tank. It seems that the field trip to Des Moines on Friday, and the weekend away was too much for her little body to handle. She passed away, hopefully peacefully. A funeral is scheduled for tomorrow. My whole class will be wearing black to commemorate this sad event.

Little Boys and Their Little Hearts

So this is the follow-up blog to the post right here. If you missed out on it, you should probably go back and read it.

So about a week after the 19-year-old started texting me, he's still going strong. We aren't talking a couple texts throughout the day. We're talking six o' clock in the morning to ten at night texting. Yeah, it's that bad. Reading "so wat do u want to talk about now?" really gets old.

So here is one of our conversations from a day or two ago. Be prepared to giggle, and to feel sympathy, and to feel just a little bit awkward because you are getting a glance into the depths of my cellular device conversations. Also, he texts like a 19-year-old, so beware.

Ok, so Mr. Lifelight and I were texting a bit after school and he goes:

Lifelight: Lol. so personal question cause i feel like being dumb. how much do you way?

-------and YES! He spelled it like that!!!! There are so many deal-breakers in that one text!!!

Me: Wow. You are not getting an answer to that one.

L: Well shucks lol why not?

-------So then I didn't reply for awhile because I was just annoyed.

L: Sorry. What would you like to talk about? If I didn't tick you off?

M: I don't care what we talk about.

L: so how come you gave me your number?

M: Because I was bored.

L: Nice. Well I'm glad i could keep you entertained.

-------At this point I couldn't tell if he was being bitter or if he was seriously glad he could provide me with some entertainment, and I don't reply for awhile.

L: Well that really sucks

M: What

L: Nothing *Only just a dream*

-------So he made a signature thing, so at the end of all his texts it says that, which is so girly gross.

L: So are you only talking to me because your bored? or are we actually friends?

M: A little of both

L: Wow ok

L: Well if your just gonna use me you could at least pretend to be my friend

-----Um, hello? I was pretending!

M: We are friends.

L: Yeah rite you just said we basically weren't

M: That's not what I said.

L: I'm only talking to you because i'm bored is basically the same thing

M: Well I'm sorry if you thought I meant that.

L: i did. what are you saying now? you were joking and we're friends?

M: Just because I was bored doesn't mean we're not friends.

------What I mean to say here is, "Stop being a girl."

L: Then what does it mean?

M: You're fun to talk to but it's not going to go anywhere.

L: Ok, and how come? do you not want it to or what?

M: don't really want it to. You're probably a little young for me.

------and this is when he changes his attitude...

L: Give it time maybe you'll change your mind. and it's only 4 years. i'm ok with that.

---Yeah, because you're obviously getting the good end of the deal. Oh boy, and now get ready for the longest text he's ever sent me:

L: i think we might make a good match. i know i'm not the smartest guy or the best looking but i'm a Christian and I know that for a fact. I know i'm a little rough around the edges and stuff. and i don't see what it would hurt to get to know each other better and maybe give it a try later if you want to. but if you don't even want to give it a try maybe God will change your mind. who knows.

------This is when i started feeling really bad for breaking that poor boy's heart. My sister is in the background, assuring me that I am a bad person.

M: I know you're a good guy and a Christian and that's great. I just don't feel like we would work together.

L: Why not?

M: I've been in some serious relationships, so I know what I'm looking for.

L: And what type of stuff is that?

------And now I didn't want to go listing stuff because then he would try to prove how he does have all of those qualities.

M: I don't know. I just don't really feel anything.

L: what do you mean?

M: I don't have those kinds of feelings for you.

L: Ok, can we still be friends?

M: definitely

L: Cool :)

------And a short while later......

L: Can I still text you in the mornings?

Maybe I Should Lock My Doors

So my students this year are absolutely great. I love them. And they love me. Like.....maybe a little too much.

I don't allow them to add me on Facebook even though they have asked several times. To show you just how much they want to be a part of my life, I will share with you an anonymous journal entry.

The writing prompt was: Suppose you've been given an invisible camera. You can put it anywhere in the world. Where would you put the camera?

Here is one student's answer to that question:

I would put the camera in my teacher's house. I would want to see what she does when she gets home, what her bedroom looks like, or even what she eats. I would like to see my grades early and when tests would be. I would also enjoy hearing if she says anything bad about people or something funny. I would like to be able to see her pictures on Facebook! Also I would like to see what she does in the summer and the days that she has off. I would enjoy meeting her friends and family. I would really enjoy knowing her deepest, darkest secrets.

This student was really proud of his/her entry, and decided to share it with the rest of the class.

Oh, the fun we have.

The Point in my Life Where I Reach the Level That Goes Beyond Desperation

So Lifelight, right? Three days of bands and music and such. Fun, fun, fun.

My sister and I got to go backstage and hang out with the guys from Remedy Drive, we got to rock out to some violin rock a la Reilly, and we got to "shake it like an earthquake" with Family Force 5. Oh, and I gave my number to a 19-year-old.

What!?! Elizabeth, you are 23 years old! "That's barely legal!!!!"

Yeah, yeah, I know. And I totally did it on a whim because I'm crazy like that. Sitting in my car, trying to get out of the parking lot was taking a long time, (like move four feet in a matter of a half an hour long time), so I was bored. So when a 19-year-old asks for your phone number, you give it to him. Wait, I mean, when a 19-year-old's little brother asks for your phone number for his older brother, you give it to him. It makes sense, right?

Maybe standing outside in the sun all day was getting to me or something. Yes, you are allowed to roll your eyes at my stupidity.

So now there's this kid who lives two hours away who thinks he has this huge crush on me. He possibly even thinks we're going to start dating or something. I will surely put an end to this soon.

But in the mean time, we'll just go with it. Because there's nothing better to do right now.

My life is pathetic.