Duke Bobby

So, I don't know if you've heard, but there is a praying mantis in my classroom right now. Yes, a real live praying mantis. It is now our class pet. I even brought in a fish bowl for it to live in. (Bowser's old bowl. Tears.) My students ran outside to gather grass, leaves, and sticks to make a nice little home for it. One morning they even went outside with a cup to catch crickets for Mr. Mantis to eat. (They're carnivorous.)

They also decided its name would be Duke Bobby. It's kind of an inside joke that our class has, although, the joke isn't really that funny, but I suppose we'll go with it.

Anyways, Duke Bobby has been hanging out on his stick a lot. He doesn't move around that much, but the kids make sure to check on him every day.

This morning they got to school and ran to check it out. As soon as I got into the classroom, they quickly told me, "The praying mantis is dead or something! Or maybe dying! It's pooping out foam!" I took a look in its tank, and started getting a little worried. The mantis wasn't moving at all. Then, I noticed it's back end making little thrusting movements and pumping out more of this foamy stuff.

After some quick Googling, I read this: "A female praying mantis will produce a large foam mass, called an ootheca. This ootheca can contain up to 300 eggs, all protected in the foam sack."

My jaw dropped as I read it, and my kids starting shouting, "What!?! What is it!?! Is Duke Bobby going to die?!"

"Well, kids, it looks like Duke Bobby is a female. And that foam is a sack of eggs!"

"It's pregnant!?!?!" A cheer rose up from the class. Our precious Duke Bobby was not dying, rather, it was producing life!

So, we'll see what happens. It can take anywhere from 5 weeks to 5 months to hatch. Then we'll have quite a few little crawlers on our hands. I'll keep you all updated on our praying mantis situation.

****Update*****
Upon arriving at school today, I found little Duke Bobby face down in her tank. It seems that the field trip to Des Moines on Friday, and the weekend away was too much for her little body to handle. She passed away, hopefully peacefully. A funeral is scheduled for tomorrow. My whole class will be wearing black to commemorate this sad event.

Little Boys and Their Little Hearts

So this is the follow-up blog to the post right here. If you missed out on it, you should probably go back and read it.

So about a week after the 19-year-old started texting me, he's still going strong. We aren't talking a couple texts throughout the day. We're talking six o' clock in the morning to ten at night texting. Yeah, it's that bad. Reading "so wat do u want to talk about now?" really gets old.

So here is one of our conversations from a day or two ago. Be prepared to giggle, and to feel sympathy, and to feel just a little bit awkward because you are getting a glance into the depths of my cellular device conversations. Also, he texts like a 19-year-old, so beware.

Ok, so Mr. Lifelight and I were texting a bit after school and he goes:

Lifelight: Lol. so personal question cause i feel like being dumb. how much do you way?

-------and YES! He spelled it like that!!!! There are so many deal-breakers in that one text!!!

Me: Wow. You are not getting an answer to that one.

L: Well shucks lol why not?

-------So then I didn't reply for awhile because I was just annoyed.

L: Sorry. What would you like to talk about? If I didn't tick you off?

M: I don't care what we talk about.

L: so how come you gave me your number?

M: Because I was bored.

L: Nice. Well I'm glad i could keep you entertained.

-------At this point I couldn't tell if he was being bitter or if he was seriously glad he could provide me with some entertainment, and I don't reply for awhile.

L: Well that really sucks

M: What

L: Nothing *Only just a dream*

-------So he made a signature thing, so at the end of all his texts it says that, which is so girly gross.

L: So are you only talking to me because your bored? or are we actually friends?

M: A little of both

L: Wow ok

L: Well if your just gonna use me you could at least pretend to be my friend

-----Um, hello? I was pretending!

M: We are friends.

L: Yeah rite you just said we basically weren't

M: That's not what I said.

L: I'm only talking to you because i'm bored is basically the same thing

M: Well I'm sorry if you thought I meant that.

L: i did. what are you saying now? you were joking and we're friends?

M: Just because I was bored doesn't mean we're not friends.

------What I mean to say here is, "Stop being a girl."

L: Then what does it mean?

M: You're fun to talk to but it's not going to go anywhere.

L: Ok, and how come? do you not want it to or what?

M: don't really want it to. You're probably a little young for me.

------and this is when he changes his attitude...

L: Give it time maybe you'll change your mind. and it's only 4 years. i'm ok with that.

---Yeah, because you're obviously getting the good end of the deal. Oh boy, and now get ready for the longest text he's ever sent me:

L: i think we might make a good match. i know i'm not the smartest guy or the best looking but i'm a Christian and I know that for a fact. I know i'm a little rough around the edges and stuff. and i don't see what it would hurt to get to know each other better and maybe give it a try later if you want to. but if you don't even want to give it a try maybe God will change your mind. who knows.

------This is when i started feeling really bad for breaking that poor boy's heart. My sister is in the background, assuring me that I am a bad person.

M: I know you're a good guy and a Christian and that's great. I just don't feel like we would work together.

L: Why not?

M: I've been in some serious relationships, so I know what I'm looking for.

L: And what type of stuff is that?

------And now I didn't want to go listing stuff because then he would try to prove how he does have all of those qualities.

M: I don't know. I just don't really feel anything.

L: what do you mean?

M: I don't have those kinds of feelings for you.

L: Ok, can we still be friends?

M: definitely

L: Cool :)

------And a short while later......

L: Can I still text you in the mornings?

Maybe I Should Lock My Doors

So my students this year are absolutely great. I love them. And they love me. Like.....maybe a little too much.

I don't allow them to add me on Facebook even though they have asked several times. To show you just how much they want to be a part of my life, I will share with you an anonymous journal entry.

The writing prompt was: Suppose you've been given an invisible camera. You can put it anywhere in the world. Where would you put the camera?

Here is one student's answer to that question:

I would put the camera in my teacher's house. I would want to see what she does when she gets home, what her bedroom looks like, or even what she eats. I would like to see my grades early and when tests would be. I would also enjoy hearing if she says anything bad about people or something funny. I would like to be able to see her pictures on Facebook! Also I would like to see what she does in the summer and the days that she has off. I would enjoy meeting her friends and family. I would really enjoy knowing her deepest, darkest secrets.

This student was really proud of his/her entry, and decided to share it with the rest of the class.

Oh, the fun we have.

The Point in my Life Where I Reach the Level That Goes Beyond Desperation

So Lifelight, right? Three days of bands and music and such. Fun, fun, fun.

My sister and I got to go backstage and hang out with the guys from Remedy Drive, we got to rock out to some violin rock a la Reilly, and we got to "shake it like an earthquake" with Family Force 5. Oh, and I gave my number to a 19-year-old.

What!?! Elizabeth, you are 23 years old! "That's barely legal!!!!"

Yeah, yeah, I know. And I totally did it on a whim because I'm crazy like that. Sitting in my car, trying to get out of the parking lot was taking a long time, (like move four feet in a matter of a half an hour long time), so I was bored. So when a 19-year-old asks for your phone number, you give it to him. Wait, I mean, when a 19-year-old's little brother asks for your phone number for his older brother, you give it to him. It makes sense, right?

Maybe standing outside in the sun all day was getting to me or something. Yes, you are allowed to roll your eyes at my stupidity.

So now there's this kid who lives two hours away who thinks he has this huge crush on me. He possibly even thinks we're going to start dating or something. I will surely put an end to this soon.

But in the mean time, we'll just go with it. Because there's nothing better to do right now.

My life is pathetic.

Tidbits from the Classroom

Science is a tool. It can be used in a good way, or a bad way. For example, you can use a hammer to build a house for a homeless person, OR you can use a hammer to smack someone in the head.

"Those are baller shoes, Miss V.!"

Reconstruction after the Civil War - It's like if you and your brother get into a fight and your brother totally beats you up. You aren't going to automatically love him and be all friendly afterwards. You're going to have to rebuild that friendship and brotherly love again. It might take awhile.

If you have a picture of a friendly-looking snake, and add downward-facing eyebrows, he turns evil.

"I love this chair thing! I love it with a PASSION!"

***Note to the reader: Never joke with middle school students that they will be getting free cookies. They will turn on you immediately.

DISCLAIMER: These things might only be funny to my students and me. Except for the cookie thing. They didn't think that was very funny.

To Catch a Predator

"How's the brownie? Do you know who I am? I'm Chris Hansen from Dateline NBC."

If only Chris Hansen was around when I was hanging out at the beach in Florida a little over a week ago.

After two days in the car and one night in an extremely creepy Motel 6 (and, no, they didn't leave the lights on for us), Bethany and I decided a little relaxation at the beach was a good idea. The sun was shining and the fish were jumping. It was a perfect day at the beach...... Then came the guy on the jetski. At first we had a hard time deciding if he was a lifeguard or not. He came roving over on his red Kawasaki all decked out in red and white. He stopped the engine for awhile not very far from us and pulled out his red and white thermos. The dude snuck looks at us as he floated around.

After awhile, we got to the point where we were creeped out enough to get out of the water, so we went to lie on the beach. Soon, two girls in the water went up to him and asked if they could have a ride. The first girl hopped on, and he took off. After about ten minutes he came back and took the second girl for a ride. Bethany and I were sitting there, thoroughly disgusted, and wondering what would possess these girls to hop on some random stranger's jetski.

"Ok, can you describe him?" Bethany asked me, "Just in case we need to give a description to the police."

The second girl's ride was a little different from the first girl's. After about ten minutes, the guy stopped the engine out in the ocean, and pulled out his cooler. He then, apparently, poured the girl a drink, and sat side-saddle on the jetski so they could have a little conversation out on the ocean. And this wasn't a twenty or even thirty-year-old guy. He was probably about forty or fifty. After about half an hour, he finally dropped the girl off on the beach. Another beach was in his sight now; one with more prey.

Creeper in action

Bethany and I finally felt that it was safe enough to go back in the water, so we headed out to the sandbar. Just then, we saw the little red blob in the distance, and it started getting bigger and bigger. Mr. Jetski was back. When he was about thirty feet from us, he turned off the engine and began to float around. We turned our backs to him because making eye contact was surely the kiss of death. He mosied his way around us, and we proceeded to turn the other way. It was like he was a shark circling it's prey. The predator of the ocean.

We started making our way toward the beach, hoping he would get the hint, but he slowly followed us in. After we made our way across the hot sand, he finally got the point and drove off, leaving us feeling completely creeped out.

The Internet and chat rooms aren't the only place where predators prey on innocent little girls. Ok, I know, it's not like we're twelve or anything, but it was still a yucky feeling. I can just see Chris Hansen riding in on a seahorse, "I'm Chris Hansen from Dateline NBC. You enjoying that ride?" Yeah, that'd be cool.

P.S. It's my half birthday today. Only 6 more months to buy me a present.

"Those great knick-knacks at Target that you just can't say no to"

I figured I should probably blog again before I head off on more summer adventures. Have I mentioned I love being a teacher?

So, let's talk about Target. I'm sure Kayla would be able to tell you much more about Target than I would, but let's talk about it anyways. Ever since Sioux Falls added the new eastside Target, the amount of money in my bank account has been steadily decreasing. Weird.

Let's talk about one section of Target in particular. If you head over to the music section you'll see a little shelf called "Artists on the Verge." I think this is my new favorite section. I love scouring the cds for music that I know or have heard of. I like to check out the bands that few people have heard of because it makes me feel awesome. It's like name-dropping. "Oh, you haven't heard of that band? That's because you're not as awesome as me." I am such a hipster, and that's not a good thing.

And there's this other thing that attracts me to that shelf. Album art. My most recent purchase has about the coolest album cover ever. I love it. Bright colors and rainbows and crazy craft supplies!!! I mean, how could this not make you happy? So horrifyingly pretty! And the music isn't bad either.

And then there's the Passion Pit cd that I love. More bright colors, of course. So geometrical. So fun. How could you not be drawn to this cover?

So, yes, Target is amazing.

But when you leave the music section, you might possibly enter the hair products section, and let me warn you, as amazing as the Goody Spin Pin looks, it doesn't work very well. So when you go to Target to spend all your money on things you didn't plan on buying, you can thank me for saving you six dollars on that purchase.

Also, the first person who can tell me who said the quote in my title gets a dollar.

Currently Listening to: He is We

It's a little more "cupcakey" than I usually like, but still good, and you probably haven't heard of them because you're not as much of a hipster as I am.